ASK THE EXPERTS
Q&A with Mr. Bittner and Señorita Ortega: Questions About What To Do When You See Bullying
Question #1: Kyle
Most days after school I meet my friends on the basketball court – we've been doing this for years. Last week a new kid tried to join the game, but Daryl told him to "get lost and don't come back." I felt the same way at first. The group gets along, and we don't need new players. But later, I started to feel badly about what happened. What can I do to make it up to the new kid?
Reply from Mr. Bittner:
Kyle, you're right to apologize for bullying behavior that leaves someone out and/or harms someone. Think how hard it is for him, or for you, to move to a new town and make friends. After the unfriendly treatment he got from your group, he may not be willing to ask a second time or go up to anyone else. Why don't you talk to your friends today? Tell them how you feel about what happened, and that you think the new kid should join the group. Invite them to come along to find him and show him around the neighborhood. Other members of the group, even Daryl, may regret what was said. If they don't, then this is a good time to make a new friend . Remember how Melanie and KB became friends after Cassandra and her group bullied KB.
Question #2: Ryan
My name is Ryan, and I'm a 6th grader. I think a girl in my class is being bullied by an older, 7th grade boy. Vicki was eating her lunch at the end of the table from me when he walked past with two of his buddies. I heard him say, "Someone needs to bag the trash around here!" I didn't know he was talking about Vicki until I saw her packing up her lunch. She turned away quickly, but I saw she was about to cry. I feel awful because I didn't say anything. I wish I could help her.
Reply from Señorita Ortega:
Ryan, it sounds like Vicki is a victim of bullying. That was strong name-calling and, probably, Vicki has gone through this with these boys before. You may be in the best position to help since you heard what was said. Talk to Vicki in private about the bullying. Let her know how sorry you are for not "lending a hand" but suggest that she come with you to report the bullying to a trusted adult at your school. For tips on how to tell an adult, hear the cool way Josh talks to Coach Cruncher when Brick bullied Hal. You'll also find some great tips on the page, Do You Witness Bullying?
Question #3: Sarika
My best friend Melinda has five older sisters. They are all very nice, but their clothes are not very stylish. Melinda wears her sister's hand-me-downs. Some girls at our school are very cliquish. They expect girls to wear name-brand clothes and often laugh at girls who don't. Just yesterday our English teacher, Ms. Wright, looked over the top of her glasses at the outfit Melinda was wearing. Everyone laughed because they knew Ms. Wright was making fun of Melinda's clothes. Sadly the bullying is still happening to Melinda–some adults at school add to the bullying by seeing this as normal, everyday behavior.
Reply from Mr. Bittner:
It is sometimes hard to "lend a hand"– especially when bullying is accepted by teachers and school administrators. However, the same lessons apply to teachers who bully as to students. You might begin by talking with Ms. Wright about your worries about Melinda. If you're not comfortable doing that, or if you don't get a positive response from her, please talk with another adult at school about what happened as soon as possible. Think about bringing a friend, who might be able to support you.
